Purple Revolver (2 fingered)
Bored of You, Bored of my Personality - The Day I Made History- Death to your Underpants -Consumerism for Beginners- Smile - Worst Case Scenario Number 1- Everything is the Same -
Death to your Underpants
In the mechanical folds of my washing machine you dispose of your sultry nature
Scratch your balls through age-worn garments, which, like me, have seen your better days
A sock displaced from its commune
Finds itself pinned to the notice board (which in theory should be attached to your forehead with map pins)
“Sock sought for nights out with a perfect match, bored of being lonely, lets pair up and paint the town red.”
The humour is wrung from my life like wet bubble wrap through a mangle
I pop at unprecedented intervals
There’s just no telling when I might explode
Over a coffee ring on the cover of my new book of example
Or when your transparent underpants wrap themselves snugly around the drum during the final spin cycle of now what appears to be
Our relationship
Page 684
Indesit
·Energy rating A.
·Washing performance A.
·Spinning performance C.
·Maximum spin speed 1100rpm.
·Maximum washing capacity 6kg.
·Variable washing temperature.
Buy now pay later with map pins in your forehead and my knickers wound in knots around your throat?
I’m easy.
© Marjorie Razorblade
"Consumerism for Beginners"
Buy more live less
I like my own mess
Consumerism not for everyone
But my friends, I digress….
I don’t recycle I don’t have a bin
Randomised plastic crap and it’s full to the brim
I idly complain that my flat stinks of shit
Its mine,
And well pal
I can fucking well do what I like with it.
Buy less and live more
Jehovah witness knock on my front door
With Bibles and pictures of children with Hippos
And Lions wear signs that say No Fucking Gypos
And they don’t get AIDS, God forbid that they should
And would a blood transfusion do them any good?
And they sail off to paradise in ark made of wood
And live on their island without any shrink wrapping
In their eco toilets where their too busy crapping
The pulses and beans that make anarchists mental
Scrimping and saving dividing their lentil
And Sainsburys shelves burst at the seams
And Jamie grins smugly, advertises overpriced
Mung beans
'Try something new today'
I tell myself blindly
That Crime doesn’t pay
I cant recycle, don’t have a green bin
So what should I leave out?
And what do I put in?
Do I buy fair trade and become all consuming
Dodge the black cloud of responsible living that’s looming?
And the fucking hypocrisy is evident although washed down the drain:
Buy Fair trade
Stick it all on a plane
And then consumers cry out “Stop global warming!”
The black clouds pile up and the brew begins storming
I buy less live less
Tell myself crime doesn’t pay,
And hand over fist for fuck-all I pay
My carrots from Waitrose cost more
And don’t last one fucking day….
So I can’t compost and I live in a flat
And I don’t recycle and that’s pretty much that
I blame the council, I blame barren society
Do this and do that with such cunningly sobriety
And I don’t recycle, there in print, notoriety
If I could mate I would
But I cant get a bin
And so
What should I leave out
What should I put in?
Buy more
Live less
Air miles, recycle, free trade and I’m bloody well going to kill myself
For a plot of dirt
A row of runner beans and a pretty pink skirt,
Sewed by the children in sweat shops of China
Bought it in Oxfam and what could be finer?
Fair-Trade burgers in some corporate diner
And gallons of oil shipped by in a Texaco liner
I’d rather go naked than wear one fucking stitch
Wear a gap t-shirt - or - live in a ditch
And these paper knickers are starting to itch
Ladies your tampons are now obsolete
Stick a cup up your minge or tear up an old sheet
And winter is coming in July, fucking sleet
And the man with the sandwich board walks up my street
“The End is Nigh,”
He says with a sigh
And I shake my head and I still wonder why
When do we implode?
When do we give in?
I can’t recycle
I don’t have a bin
So what should I leave out?
And just what do I put in?
© Marjorie Razorblade 2007
Comments: Four floor flat no recycling provided. I carry it all to work and do it there. If the old school people who tell us that we have to recycle, bothered to do it in the first fucking place, we wouldn’t have to. Am I just being pedantic? Free Trade? Sure fly it all over in a plane you anti global warming fuck.
Today someone touched a nerve. It was a flyer which said
“Recycle Now!”
I’d better stop there.
Smile
I've been exposed to the infective world of laughter
And it breaks my heart to find the cure lies elsewhere
I tried everything
To bring laughter to your life and a promise of happiness
But it was all in vain nothing lasts forever
And I can only laugh for the shortest while
When slowly your laughter becomes the ghost of my smile.
© Marjorie Razorblade
